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November 15, 2023
By Derek Handley
Midweek Musings is a bi-weekly Covenant blog with a variety of authors and a variety of topics.
I may have scared off some people with that title. What was I thinking?
Well, too late now. If you're still here, you're probably a parent. And if not, I'm impressed!
Parenthood is something that you can't put into words. It is something that you just have to experience to understand.
I have two boys, 4 and 7. So, I'm in still in the middle of "I have to keep these humans alive" mode... or at least it feels like that. They are pretty darn independent at times. (thank God)
Like the memes/gifs suggest in this blog, the first things that come to mind when parenting is involved is (unfortunately) the "negative" stuff.
I guess it is human instinct to dwell on the negative.
I don't know many parents that get together and spend time talking about the cuddles, and the times their kiddos cleaned up their rooms, and the times they said "I'm sorry Dad, I shouldn't have thrown that car across the room and broken the window. Can I offer to replace it?"
Also, did I just turn a hypothetical positive into a negative?
I always inwardly rolled my eyes when someone (especially in the infant phases) said "cherish every moment!" But seriously, when you are riding on 2 hours of sleep, that is the last thing you want to hear.
Though, I am more cherishing the heart-melting moments of parenting. I'm getting better at it. When they come along, I sometimes feel like a deer in the headlights.
"This is one of those moments people were talking about! Quick, cherish!" And hopefully by the time I come to, they haven't moved on to something else.
But going back to the "negative" stuff... and maybe I shouldn't even call them "negative" ...
It is therapy to vent and talk about the hardships of parenting.
You know those moments when you feel SEEN?
When your being, your aura, overlaps with another's? When you discover that you and another person have something very specific in common?
Parents feel that oh so much when they commiserate on the hardships of parenting.
It can happen anywhere, but honestly, it happens at church a heckuva lot. And hey, that's why churches have small groups dedicated to specific age groups or life phases.
Parenting is HARD.
But dangit - I love it for all it is. Even the "negative" parts I guess.
Because, like any relationship with another human, you are in it together, and doing your best. And you get help along the way!
So, if you're still reading this. I probably see you, and you probably see me.
Thanks for reading.
Derek