January 11, 2022
By Pastor Jeff Fox-Kline
As you may be aware, the next few weeks we will be talking about *whispers furtively*...
s e x
Charlie’s sermon was a strong start to the series and helped us to understand that above and beyond anything else we are children of God. Rooted in this identity, we are then able to approach each other with an open mind and loving heart. This series will require nuance, grace, curiosity, and a willingness to engage in topics that may make some of us uncomfortable. So we need to become more comfortable with this topic before we can do anything else. I will no longer *whisper furtively* the word sex. I will SHOUT *arms upraised to the heavens*...
SEX!
Ok, that was perhaps an overcorrection, but Charlie’s sermon did include some language that isn’t often heard in the pulpit. Two of those words that he used were penis and clitoris. We need to get ourselves comfortable saying those sorts of things if we want to have a real dialogue. When we refuse to talk about a subject then other things fill the void, most often shame.
But that’s not this blog today. If you’ve been a faithful reader of this blog (I’m talking to both of you who have been reading since the start), you may know that sometimes I dig deeply into difficult topics. Other times I use this space as an outlet for whatever dumb idea pops into my head. Today you are reading the latter. So, in the spirit of getting us more comfortable talking about sex, here is a non-comprehensive list of words that sound like they could be sexual but are not. Remember as you read these words that intonation matters, so say them in a sultry way to maximize the effect.
Here are a few for the good church folk:
Apse
Nave
Rector
Sexton
Defrocked
Here are a couple for our musicians:
Vibrato
Tremolo
Now an unsorted list as it came into my mind:
Esoterica
Extraneous
Verdant
Arable
Bursa
Remora
Gully
Prostrate
Labrum
Sanguine
Anglophile
Gurgle
Querulous
Lugubrious
Slipshod
Scrod
Effusive
Fulsome (Fulsome was gifted to me by the thesaurus as I was double-checking the word Effusive)
Matriculate
Waning gibbous (two words, but I’m including it here because I make the rules)
Churn
This is an incomplete and wholly subjective list. But it’s one that we can now say proudly without squeamishness (which should also probably go on the list). I’m guess you have words of your own. Feel free to add them to the comments here, or (especially) to the comments on the Facebook post. I love the idea of there being a post on our Facebook page that is filled with one-word comments without any context – talk about driving engagement numbers up! And a quick word of gratitude to my friend Brian who helped guest-edit this post. If you don’t like it, blame him instead of me.
Next week I’ll probably post something normal, but in the meantime, I hope you all have a scrumptious day!
Peace,
Jeff Fox-Kline
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