April 12, 2023
By Melissa Hinz
Midweek Musings is a weekly Covenant blog with a variety of authors and a variety of topics.
Well, Easter Sunday has come and gone.
It was a glorious day at Covenant with the joy of Easter visible (and audible) in worship and the time of fellowship at the Easter Brunch.
Not only that, but the weather gave us a glimpse of Spring, of warm breezes, sunshine and the promise of new life.
It is easy to be happy on a day like that!
But what about those days...
when the weather is not glorious,
when we are not filled with the joy of Easter,
when we are struggling with fear, grief, with doubt, with loneliness?
I was thinking about the disciples and what they must have been thinking after Jesus was crucified and buried.
Jesus was dead.
Was that the end?
Did their time with Jesus mean anything?
Were they filled with doubt?
In the Gospel of John, we read about doubting Thomas, the disciple who needed to see Jesus in person, and touch his hands and side to believe.
In Luke, the disciples do not believe the women when they return from the empty tomb having been told that Jesus had risen.
Later in that chapter, the disciples were on the road to Emmaus and Jesus joined them. They did not realize who he was and expressed their doubt to Jesus himself.
There are times when I ask myself:
If the disciples and followers of Jesus...
those who walked and talked and ate with him,
those who saw him perform miracles and teach of God's love for all...
(if they) had doubts and questions - is it any wonder that I do also?
I do believe that Jesus died for me.
I believe that Jesus is the Son of God.
I believe that God's love is bigger than me - and that in being a follower of Christ, I am called to love God and to love others.
And... I don't understand all of it. I don't have answers for many of my questions and that is ok.
I have come to a place of faith where I am (most of the time) content with knowing and understanding what I know.
And what I know is...
that I am loved and cherished,
that I am a child of God.
that I am never alone, and...
that God is with me always.
It is simple, maybe even childlike.
I can't prove it, yet I believe it to be true.
God loves me.
God loves you.
No doubts about that!